The Cost of Being A People Pleaser

Are you someone who find it hard to say “No” under s lot of circumstances?

Do you say “Yes” to almost everything in order to make others happy?

Do you feel embarrassed and stressed over any trivial disharmony in relationships even if it is not your fault?

If you feel inclined to answer all of the questions above with a “Yes”, you might have the tendency to lean in to the people pleasers’ side.

For People Pleaser Archetypes, there were usually someone in their originated families who often fly off the handles to emotionally extort and manipulate other family members. As children, People Pleaser Archetypes often feel like walking on egg shells at home as they think that they are the ones who trigger this ordering person’s unstable emotional state.

In order to maintain a harmonious atmosphere in the family, they had to do whatever serve this family member’s will. If they did anything against it, it would trigger the hysterical side of this person. Therefore, when they detect any trivial disharmony in a relationship, they feel frightened as it sets off the alarm in their brain that “If any disharmony turns up, I will be emotionally extorted, excluded and abandoned.” They think that they can only make compromises on their own wills to maintain a harmonious relationship.

Even if we feel that we had no choice at an early stage of our lives, thus rationalise all the traumas, the experience would still unconsciously impact how we see relationships, reprogram our mindset to a negative thinking mode such as “All relationships are toxic.” It would also disempower us, suppress our vitality, weaken our physical body, and impact our future paths in a damaging way that we can not even start to imagine.

Having said all that, is there something we could do about it?

For starters, realise it is not the end of world to say “no” or let people down. If you could not build a healthy and firm boundary, you would still constantly be drawn to the negative patterns of being controlled and manipulated till you realise the necessity to end the vicious pattern.

Then, know it is natural to experience disharmony in a relationship. It is not your fault. Speaking up for yourself about what you truly think and communicating on how you truly feel can be essential.

If you need support during the transformation process, please reach out to work with me, to get back onto a path to evolve into the empowered version of you, activate your voice of Sacred Woman, retrieve your dignity and worthiness.

Pisces New Moon: A Marriage within Oneself

This Pisces new moon takes place at 6:06am today, AEDT.

The most typical feature of Pisces Archetypes is dream and inspiration. They are like two fishes freely gliding between spiritual realm and the physical world. This magnifies their gift of manifestation, being able to transcend the veil between two worlds to dream their dream into being.

This Pisces new moon is the last new moon of 2022 zodiac year. Saturn, our greatest teacher will enter Pisces on March 7th and will be at this place for nearly 3 years. The new moon on Pisces is the prelude of Saturn in Pisces. In the next two weeks, we will be able to have an opportunity to preview the themes of next three years. With both Venus and Pluto at 29 degree, which indicates the end of a karmaic cycle, we need to release and purify the old energies in order for the new to come in.

The signature energy of Pisces is Neptune, which is the higher energetic expression of Venus. Neptune governs higher heart chakra and crown chakra. Saturn, on the other hand, governs base chakra, which offers structure and container for the higher energy. Neptune is the intangible dream. Saturn is the tangible reality. Neptune is heaven while Saturn is earth. Neptune is human energy field while Saturn is the physical body. For the next 3 years, they will marry each other, interweave and work closely together to integrate the intangible into the tangible world.

Can we live the melody of our heart and soul while stay in our body and boldly face the reality even when we experience setbacks?

Can we break our future dream into tiny steps of the present moment with navigation of the heart wisdom?

It is a practice within ourselves to learn to integrate two opposite energies into the physical world in the next 3 years. With discovering the sacredness of every little thing in our daily lives, boldly living in the present, we can refill our chalice full from the source, then let it flow to the rest of the world.

(Artwork by Jennifer Hawkyard)

Transform Your Sacred Scar

Have you always been wondering why you are so much more sensitive than people around you?

Have you always been feeling like that you are trapped in a pattern in a maze, not been able to find your way out at certain period of time in your life?

Have you always been looking for the answer that can explain the deepest trauma of your life?

For most of us who have read Harry Potter, a new perspective to interpret some of the plots might help explore the answers to the questions above.

You must still remember the lightening bolt shaped scar on Harry Potter’s forehead. It makes him pop out from the rest of the people at first sight, though what behind the scar lies in the deepest trauma of his life: He lost both of his parents when he was still a baby. Ever since he could remember, he was raised by his relatives who could not and would not accept who he truly is. He was not able to reconnect to his authentic self until a certain age. But the scar is also sacred at the same time as it gives Harry Potter the most precious gift after him transforming his deepest trauma.

If Harry Potter is the light, then the Voldemort is the darkness and Harry’s shadow side. Harry has so much in common with the Dark Lord that he has always been struggling with either understanding or accepting the shadow part. Nonetheless, his sacred scar was the reason for him to seek the answer and approach the light. In the final battle, Harry Potter mustered up his courage, walked into the Forbidden Forest to face his destiny—the deepest fear of his life. He thought he was sacrificing himself and going to die. But facing his shadow side did not kill him. Instead, his gallant act freed him from the nightmare that has been haunting him all his life and activated his biggest gift. He became stronger than ever. Nothing could ever threaten him. After releasing his shadow side, he destroyed the elder wand that represents the supreme power as what he experienced has taught him to treat the power in his hand with caution and realise that it is his sacred mission to give the power back to everyone.

From this particular perspective, Harry Potter is an alchemical journey that one step into another world to explore and face his/her shadow side. The reason why you have a sacred scar is calling you to step upon a journey to transform your shadow side. In this journey, you will be able to take all the courage to tap into your deepest fear and transform the lead of trauma into gold. You will never bee alone. Like Harry Potter, you will meet the right companions, elders who have the mystical wisdom to guide your way. You will find the sword of light that severs the negative cords to the past trauma, let your shadow dissolve in the light, come back with your biggest rewards, inspire and guide your follow heroes to step onto their journey, and back with their gold, strength and wisdom.