When you spend time with them, they will not stop complaining about negative things that happened to them. You will feel exhausted after the conversation, like your energy has been drained.
This is not a hypothetical scenario. There are people out there who can act like energy vampires. Although it sounds a bit melodramatic, when your own boundary seems unclear, it would be like your garden gate is wide open that any people, animals or situations could get a chance to sneak in.
When we consciously or unconsciously give permission to friends like that treat us like emotional rubbish bin, we are playing the roles of rescuer. This is one of the Archetypes proposed by transpersonal psychologist Karl G. Jung. It is not healthy and does not matter if your motive is altruistic or not . Besides, if you are someone who always honour other people’s boundaries and would not bother friends too much while others overburdens you with their emotional baggages, then this is not a healthy and equal relationship.
How to screen people who drain you?
Know when to say no. Then build a healthy and firm boundary.
If you find it hard to say no or have boundary issue, it might be a relationship that are trapped with karmic patterns. Or there are karmic patterns that you might be ready to work on. Energy healing could support you either way to build a strong and clear boundary; turn people down in a gentle but firm way; take actions to end your rescuer pattern.
If you have similar issues, please reach out to me to support you to work on yourself to build a strong boundary, get rid of the rescuer pattern and realise that you are worthy of an equal and healthy relationship that truly honours your boundary and your right to say no.
(Artwork by Rassouli)
Pearl of Sharro 